LO4: Subediting [✓]

My peer subedited my article, correcting my spelling and grammar as well as giving some improvements on how I can word certain sections of the article. I will look through the feedback that Damian has given me and edit my article accordingly so that it reads more fluently. 

Sheffield. A place where some of the most successful artists such as Milburn and Arctic Monkeys have been born and bred. The city is still thriving, growing new talent everyday, more so than ever before. The newest of talent being The Sundowns, who are only half a year old maybe say ‘they've only been around for 6 months’, saying they're only ‘6 months old’ sounds too formal. The dropping of their first EP, signals the start of something big for the Sheffield based indie alternate rock band. The band is a four piece with members Regan Jones, Ethan Halligan, Frankie Costello and Jake Miller. We managed to catch up with the lead singer himself, Regan Jones.  

After performing at Sheffield’s very own O2 Academy, Regan Jones sat down and chatted with us over a pint, “I’d probably say that you'd most likely find me in the pub with my mates in my spare time. I love getting stuck into a game of footy though too.”. However it is quite obvious that music is always on Regan’s mind, even during his downtime, with one of the bands oldest hits being “Jumpers for Goalposts’. The Sundowns have many original songs with Jones being the mastermind behind the lyrics, “I just get a line and work with it” he comments, “I find the best way to get inspiration for a song is just taking things that are important to me or that stand out.”. We can see that the ideas behind the lyrics for “Jumpers for Goalposts” are heavily inspired by his passion for football, “the song is just mainly a reflection on my own personal childhood memories, but I feel like many lads my age could relate.”. The thing that sets the music of The Sundowns apart from the rest is that their lyrics really are relatable for so many different people could talk about how the lyrics are written in this way to appeal to people a wider range of people as well which could boost the bands popularity, yet still manage to be different from the clique you mean cliché? music we listen to today.  

Music has always been a lifelong ambition of Jones’, “Ive been influenced by many different artists, The Stone Roses, Morrissey, Little man Tate and Milburn to name a few. Liam Fray has always been my biggest influence however, seeing him was what made me decided decide* that music was something I really wanted to be involved with”. From a young age Jones has been involved in music, with his nan being a big influence on him. “When it comes to music I am mainly self-taught, however growing up my nan did teach me how to play the piano, I think this has had a big impact on what I am doing now”.   Structure it so that the nan seems like a bigger influence from his childhood. It flows better and explains how he actually got into music in the first place 

Before The Sundowns were around, Jones was a solo artist. With the band only forming a short while ago, we wondered how it came about and Jones has the story to tell. “I was just sat on a tram on my way to town when I saw this guy. Ethan. He had a Gretsch guitar and looked cool. So I took his name , messaged him and then The Sundowns was born”. The creation of the band seems to have had a very positive impact on all the boys lives, with it sparking up a friendship that will last a lifetime. Lack of information, add a bit more to the story than ‘I took his name down, and bam sundown's were born’  

“Back on the grind”, not only an example of Jones clever way with words but a phrase that describes The Sundowns perfectly.“I feel the proudest when I’m up there on that stage and people are our singing back the lyrics to us. The feeling is surreal along with the support.” After only just releasing their first EP, The Sundowns were back in the studio doing what they do best. ”Our following is what motivates us the most” was what Regan commented when I asked him why they were creating new tunes so soon. Having been given the honor to listen to a preview of one of their new original hits, I can honestly say that the band just keeps getting better and better, “even bigger things are to come”. Id restructure it so the grind seems like they’ve got a reason to grind out new music. Maybe move the section about their fans being the reason they make music to the top and then follow it with the bit about the grind.  

When Jones was asked to describe what people should expect from their gigs, the words he used were “carnage, electricity and a big do” and he wasn’t wrong. Having been lucky enough to have attended the bands O2 performance I can confirm that the amazing music I heard having first listened to the bands EP on Spotify was more than topped due to not only the brilliant music but the atmosphere that they created. Having experienced this first hand I can honestly say that The Sundowns are not one to miss. Get yourselves down to there up and coming gig headlining Cafe Totem on the December 8th and experience Sheffield’s next big thing for yourself.  Try and end it with the words “Carnage, Electricity and a Big Do”. it sounds better compared to ‘experience the next big them for yourself’ 

Based on the feedback I was given, overall there was not many things that I needed to change within the article. A strength of what I have written for my body copy is that it is easy to read and understand. Although the structure is a weakness of my article, there are only a few minor changes to make in order to make it more powerful and gripping. These things don't effect the overall article, and are just things that I need to change in order to make my readers want to read on to the end. Another strength of the feature is that overall it is very well written, the article will engage the readers and it contains a lot of information whilst still being in an gonzo style, also being the right amount of informal. A weakness is that some parts of my article need a bit more information adding, like to the story about how the band met. This is something small that I can have and will have a big impact on the whole feature.